This is How a Heart Breaks
by CharlotteBlackwood
Summary: A continuation of my Remus Oneshot Smut stories, this is Remus/Fleur... it's AU, darker, includes smut, obvs, and some noncon. Not the cute little former-student fluff I'd been doing. Enjoy!


**A/N: This is another episode of Remus Smutshot brought to you by my sick, bored, and overworked mind. This is definitely not along the lines of my usual fics, a bit more of a sick and twisted abomination, I think. The last in my line of alphabetical journeys through the characters was Remus/Eloise Midgen. This is Remus/Fleur. There were several ways I could go with this…. We'll see how this turns out…. I might mold my favorite two ideas into one. :D For those of you who like very off-the-wall, horrific stuff, you're in for a treat! VERY AU**

**-C**

He couldn't pretend he didn't find her attractive. Everyone knew she was attractive, part Veela, charming, incredibly well-breed. But she was Bill's.

Or, she had been Bill's, just as he had been Tonks's.

But things like that change, it seemed, and sometimes very rapidly and all at once.

And yet no matter how attractive he found her, Remus would never have done what he did for the world without some other reason, some outside force, and with that knowledge Remus felt absolutely and completely disgusted with himself. There was no forgiveness for what he had done, his fault or no.

It had been dangerous for him to go and see her at her home, especially as that was where Bill had been killed not a week ago. They had been trying to talk her out of staying there ever since, saying it was too dangerous, the likelihood of her capture, torture, murder… it was incredibly great if she didn't go to an uncompromised safe house.

But Fleur had the stubborn blood of the French in her and she refused to leave the home of her and her husband, refused to live with Muriel or Andromeda or even Kingsley. Remus had actually gone both to comfort her and share in their misery, and to attempt to talk her into moving in with him at Andromeda's, where they would be safer.

It had been a mistake. It had been the first mistake. Someone else should have gone to talk to her, to convince her, but Remus was always going out of his way to do "the right thing", whatever that meant, as Sirius had told him many a time.

He hadn't seen the Death Eater, but he'd heard Fleur's scream and when he turned, wand at the ready, he barely got a glimpse of the mask their enemy was wearing before his mind went peacefully, blissfully blank.

Remus was aware that he was being told to do things by an outside voice, but it didn't seem to bother him. They weren't asking much, just that he strip down naked, and he saw that Fleur was doing the same with no hesitation, so why should he hesitate? He was vaguely aware that something was off about the situation, but things felt so peaceful, so why would he try to figure out what it was?

He followed the instructions of the voice, of the curse, even after he became aware that it was, in fact, a curse, because if he had been honest with himself, he rather liked the things the voice told him to do. And it told him to do a great many things, all to Fleur, who was reacting well to the things the voice told him to do to her, probably because the voice told her to, but Remus couldn't find it in him to mind. It felt good. It felt blank. It felt like bliss.

But when he was back in his normal mind, he found himself looking down at Fleur's bruised, sticky body. He had raped her.

There had been a spell, of course. A curse. Legally, he wasn't responsible for his actions, but Remus knew better. He was actually quite good at overcoming the Imperius Curse. No, he had done it because… because he had wanted to, because it was an excuse. The curse may have instigated the actions, but had carried them out with full knowledge that something was wrong. He hadn't cared.

Remus felt sick to his stomach as he saw Fleur's naked body stir. He could not be there when she woke up. He couldn't bear the look on her face. She would be embarrassed, sickened, horrified, and although she wouldn't blame him, at least not consciously, she ought to. He wouldn't tell her, of course, how he didn't work too awfully hard to fight the curse, but he would know, and some part of her violated trust would wonder, because that's what traumatized people did… wonder, place blame, revisit the horror over and over in hopes of understanding and grasping something better left alone. Remus knew he would never be able to look her in the eye again.

He modified her memory and Disapparated.

Remus sent a Patronus to Arthur, saying that Fleur had been attacked and he didn't feel right being the one there. She needed family.

Arthur or Molly would go to her, comfort her, maybe have someone take her to the hospital or have someone in the order take a look at her. The important thing was that Remus wasn't around her for some while, just to be sure that she didn't remember him being there, violating her, seeing his face before her mind went blank. The memory charm had been done in haste, but he prayed it would be sufficient.

And as he fell asleep that night, and many nights after, he couldn't get the feel of the guilt out of his mind, couldn't wish away the nagging sensation that if he had been Imperiused a thousand times to do the same thing, there wasn't a single time he would have fought the curse at all.

Remus would never see anything but a monster in the mirror ever again.


End file.
